Banality
The light sleeping on the living room floor is soft and pink and darkening the room in a glowing manner, in exact the way light usually should not darken things. It entered the room through the window, through clouds and atmospheric mass, and its eternised appearance on the floor is innocuous yet menacing. In its sleep it is waiting, lurking, like a half-eaten cotton candy of the damned.
I take the bait and lie down on the barren floor, nose-deep in light.
It would feel like nothing if it did - but that would be overstating the fragility of this threadlike rest on my skin cells; a slight breathing, humming of unrest, present rather than warm or heavy. It would be the perfect atmosphere, I guess, to swoon soulfully or skin-deeply, or believing the one while exercising the other. Drifting away into cross-cutting, a classic flashback to gravely seeping teenage melodrama.
But you don't need company for this.
It's so easy it makes me wanna cry. I roll over on my stomach and laugh instead, drawing shadow blood from the pink floor with my fingertips. It's not a hearty laugh, a loud or visible one, I don't need to show that I'm laughing to know I am. I feel like I'm falling in love, but I skip prepositions and propositions. I know that I'm high, but I know it's just my body acting, and really, I don't care.
I laugh into myself, staring at the ceiling and its fingerdrip bloodtops, when it suddenly overwhelms me on the warm living room floor. Mental convulsions, like a mind menstruation to get rid of the excess waste, like puking into problem gutters, and my skin starts dragging itself from my flesh, folding back into itself, crawling in waves to transport toxic glow away from the fountain in my rib cage. And my head is irradiated and floating, and I claw at my own skin, rip it off right from the middle until my ribs are naked and the rattleshake tingle in my spine subsides, and without as much as a spastic movement, I throw up sudden toxic waste in the most content way conceivable:
"I just don't give a fuck any more!"
It glows a little before it seeps into the air. A million cores explode.
And the world sings with me.
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